Four days

Day 1 - September 2015 

Girl walks into her college dorm room. Drops an overnight bag on the floor by her bunk bed. Looks a little disheveled. Starts taking a shower. The sprinkle of the shower head triggers a flashback of last night. 

Scene of a college house party hosted by the football team from another college nearby. She’s looking cute. Playing beer pong. Party party party with her male friend who invited her. 

Police come and bust the party. She runs outside. The sprinklers come on. She’s screaming for him. A group of his teammates pulls her shoulder and tells her to follow them. She stumbles and follows them to their dorm.  

She’s breathing hard and sits down on the bed to catch her breath and vision. They start sitting around her. Loud music comes on. Drinks and weed are passed around. She gets so tired after a puff. Lays down, hands over eyes. 

“Where’s Dray?” 

“He’s coming soon; we called him.” 

“Really? I need to find him; I don’t know where to go.” 

Increasingly getting louder as she sits up. 

“You can go right here.” 

They gently push her down. 

She’s so tired. 

They start undoing her jean shorts and pulling her tank top up. 

Dray bursts in, laughing. 

“Riley! You dog. Come on, let’s go. I gotta get up early in the morning.” 

Riley mumbles indiscriminately. 

They walk to his room and he’s blabbing, blabbing, blabbing. She’s trying to play cool. 

They get back to his room. 

She borrows a giant t-shirt and lies down. He jumps up on his twin-top bunk and pats next to him. She crawls in and burrows in and passes out. 

Wakes up needing to pee. But it’s fingers brushing her. He sees she’s awake, rolls on top, and starts making out. She puts her hands up. 

“Please, Dray, I’m tired. Please.” 

“I can help wake you up.” 

“I’m so tired.” 

“Trust me.” 

“Ok.” 

She falls back asleep with a sigh.

Flash back to the present of her in the shower. She sinks down into the fetal position and shuts her eyes. Opens her mouth wide, mingling tears, stifling crying.  After a series of choking and gagging, she sits up with her knees tucked in, head in her arms. 

Enter her suitemate coming home from her shift at Olive Garden. 

“How much longer? I’m practically sweating garlic at this point.” 

“Ya, I’m done.” 

Roommate getting ready for bed. Riley is rolled up in a ball facing the wall. Her roommate nudges her with a bag of breadsticks and opens a half-drunk bottle of wine from her backpack. 

“Get up and scootch over.” 

Roommate and Riley snuggle up and watch Bob’s Burgers on a laptop while eating breadsticks and drinking wine. 

Laughter. 

End of day 1. 

___________

Day 2 - July 2016 

Riley comes home from college for the summer. Leaving that semester with a 4.0, made it into the honors college. Youthful, happy, trendy. Working a part-time job with her friend at a luxury athletic clothing store. 

She comes home from work and starts getting ready. Drinking water in the kitchen and talking to her mom. 

“What time does the concert start tonight?” 

“Like 9, I think? We’re going to meet up at Soma before.” 

“Who’s going?” 

“The usual– Kendall, Rico, Issac, Carmen and whoever they bring.” 

“Aww well, tell Rico and Issac I said hi! I ran into their mom the other day, and she said they’re loving Loyola. Can you believe their brother killed himself? He seemed so happy. D1 lacrosse prospects and all that. Let me know if they need anything. Their mom looked gutted. It was so sad. I mean, what a shock. No one saw that coming, you know?” 

Rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath in, “Ya, if that comes up, I’ll ask, Mom.” 

Jump to a scene in a sushi restaurant. Eight people at a table passing around plates, drinking sake, talking. Dressed in cool concert clothes, aka a lot of glitter. 

“I hope they play Options” 

“Ya, they better stick to their old shit, their new shit suuucks.” 

“I can’t get over how one brother does absolutely nothing…” 

“Ya, he just jumps around and starts fights.” 

“Did you know they got kicked out of the Ogden forever for breaking a bouncer’s nose?” 

“No fucking waaaay that’s true.” 

“It’s true, dude, look it up.” 

Convo fades as Rico leans into Riley…

Whispers, “Hey, Carmen’s looking pretty cute tonight. You still into that?” 

Side-eye, “I mean ya, if it happens it happens but whatever. If you wanna make moves, go for it.” 

“Thanks, man, I need this.” 

“Need what? A girl to get under while you get over something? I’m sorry you’re going through shit, but don’t use Carmen as a human Kleenex.” 

“Fuuuuck you… You said yourself that you’re just looking for casual shit too. Why do my motives matter, Miss High and Mighty?” 

“Because she deserves better.” 

“Well, if you’re thinking about what she deserves, you’re not thinking casually.” 

Huge eye roll.

“Whatever.” Laughing

Rico smiling, “You just wish so you gots Carmen allll to  yourself.” 

Riley waves hand. 

“Check, please!” 

Girl leaving a concert. Driving home at 2 am in the dark. A little buzzed. Gets up onto a highway ramp. The ramp splits into two lanes, inclining above the lanes below it. She starts gunning it down the middle. Starts hysterically crying, hard. Breaks and swerves. 

Pulls over and dries heaves. Starts puking on the feeder. Stumbles back into the driver seat and leans her head back, crying softly. 

End of day 2. 

___________

Day 3 - October 2017

Riley is running through a park late at night and breathing hard. There are two men behind her. 

Voice in front of her– 

“Dale, Riley, Dale” 

“Lorenzo, acelera el ritmo.” 

“DALE, DALE, RILEY” 

 She crosses an invisible finish line with her arms wide and smiling. Her track coach beams. The men catch up to her. They’re all catching their breath and talking shit. 

“Puta madre, Riley.”

“Sí, esa fue una vuelta casual.”

“Oh, cállate, desearías que fuera una casualidad.” 

“Bah, ayer me lastimé el tendón de la corva corriendo alrededor de ti.”

“Basta, Basta! Estírate y vete a casa.” 

Cut to Riley and her teammates on the crowded, rush-hour Supte. Sweaty, chatting. 

Eventually, she becomes the last one. She gets off at the Barrio Chine exit. Unlocks a door into an alleyway and unlocks another door to her host mom’s house. 

“Hola, hola!”

“Hola, Mari,”

Bending down to greet the chubby cat,

“Hola me gordita corazón” 

“Ducharnos y luego cenar.”

“Si senora.” 

Showers, gets ready for dinner, and eats roasted pumpkin and bean soup with wine. 

“Sabes que soy la mejor amiga de la madre de Lucas. Ella dijo que él pensaba que eras lindo.”

“Enserio? Pensé que era fantástico en la guitarra.”

“Yyyyyy?” 

“Y un poco lindo” 

“Jajaja, aquí está su número, llámelo en algún momento.” 

Shares a contact over WhatsApp with Riley. 

“Pero será mejor que actúes más como una dama si ustedes dos salen a comer. Come demasiado para ser una mujer joven. Y tal vez dejes de correr porque te volverás demasiado musculoso.” 

“Si, senora” 

Flash forward later that night. Riley’s looking cute at a doorstep, hair still damp from her shower earlier. She knocks on the door. 

A dark, shaggy-haired, grizzled, lanky young man comes to the door, smiling. 

“Hola, Miss Riley.”

“Hi, Senor Lucas.” 

“Entra, entra.” 

Walks through an artsy, shabby apartment. He plays a record. They eventually sit on the balcony drinking wine.

“¿Te gusta la hierba?” 

“Si, mucho, si” 

“Sabes rodar?” 

“Nooo, pero podríamos ver un video en youtube.” 

They’re watching Snoop Dogg’s tutorial on how to roll a joint on his laptop. They roll a shitty joint that falls apart while they smoke it. The language barrier is getting more pronounced as she’s getting drunker. He’s clearly getting frustrated. 

“Tengo hambre, ¿tienes algo para cenar?”

“Ah, no, nada más que pan duro y mantequilla de maní. Ja ja. Al viajar mucho, no mantengo este lugar lleno. Todas las tiendas también están cerradas, así que supongo que deberíamos saltarnos la cena y quedarnos en casa.”

“Oh, I’ll have the bread” 

“Qué?” 

“Yo quiero el pan.” 

He disgustingly gives it to her and plays on his guitar while she’s eating and texting her friend, “SOS call me and save me.” Her friend calls: 

“Hey, I’m locked out of our host mom’s house and she’s out? Can you let me in? I’m scared waiting out here.” 

“OMG, girl, yes, I’ll head over there now!” 

“Lo siento, mi amiga olvidó las llaves de nuestra casa y sabes dónde vive Mari, no en el área más segura, así que necesito ayudarla.”

“¿En realidad? Ella debería aprender la lección. Estoy seguro de que Mari volverá pronto a casa.”

“No, mejor me voy…”

“Ah, tontas chicas americanas, no hay autobús a esta hora. Pues solo uno y viene cada dos horas.”

“I’ll wait. Uh, Esperare.” 

They wait in the rain by the bus stop. They’re quiet. Her heart is pounding in her ears. She gets on the bus and lays her head against the cool, fogged-up window. Closes her eyes. Sigh of relief. 

End of day 3. 

___________

Day 4 - July 2018

Biking through Switzerland. Stops at a traditional small, rural Swiss-German town. Gets a bar of chocolate and coffee. Sits in the courtyard. Pauses podcast and connects to the cafe’s shaky wifi. Phone gets reception and messages, emails, and bank app notifications come in. 

Bank of America app- Insufficient funds

School email - abroad credits didn’t go through

Voicemail from Mom- hey, so your school scholarship didn't go through for last semester and I’m unsure I can cover it.

Voicemail from roommate- Hey, I sold your table to Blake for Adderall, so when you come back, don’t freak out

IG DM from a fuckboy

Calls mom. The conversation going in and out due to the shaky wi-fi. 

“Hey, how’s it going? Staying safe? Where are you now?” 

“Hey, Mom. What’s this about my scholarship? I can, I do not know, come back and work or find another job next semester or–” 

“Oh, don't worry about it!! Just look into it when you have time. It’s just the payment deadline is before you get back, so just wondering if–” 

“Wait, you cut out–”

“Just have fun and look into it when you have time!” 

“Mom-” 

“Bye!” 

Chocolate melting, coffee and anxiety make her nauseated. Her stomach roils with a wave of guilt for being on this trip. Starts breathing heavily. Throws coffee and chocolate away. She puts on her headphones and listens to a soothing history podcast while wandering around the city. 

A French girl is attempting to take a selfie with her Frenchie dog in front of a gothic, baroque stone cathedral. Riley pauses her podcast and gestures with her fingers that she can take the photo. The girl’s exasperated smile turns genuine. Riley takes the photo. 

Bending down to pet the dog.

“Hello, little lady. What’s your name?” 

In broken French-English. 

“Her name is Marie. Are you visiting, too? We are doing road trip.” 

Girl starts nuzzling dog. 

“Yes? Mi bon ami?” 

“That’s so cool. I’m just biking through to St. Gallen to meet a friend.” 

“I did uni there! You have fun.” 

Marie starts taking a shit. 

“I guess that’s my sign to get going so I don't bike in the dark.” 

“Au revoir! Safe travels!” 

“Bye! Nice meeting you.” 

Gets to bike. Phone on airplane mode. Resumes podcast about the history of cathedral architecture. 

Podcaster:

“Cathedrals were built intentionally vast and cavernous.” 

“The architects— usually paid handsomely by the parish— wanted to make you feel small. Helpless. To motivate parishioners to look up. Rely on God.”

“Helplessness was a useful emotion for control. Especially when everything feels uncontrollable, mysterious and random during the era around the Black Plague…”

End of day 4.